Bookish Rambling from the South

There’s no disputing the fact that we are all born with DNA, and the instant we make our appearance in this world, we’re affected by the environment. There are some psychological experts who believe that our personalities are formed by the time we’re four years old. I’m not sure about that, but it sounds right.

You are You 

We are who we are who we are … Why do some people fight it? Are they ashamed or embarrassed by some part of themselves that will reveal a hidden secret that will make them seem less than desirable if people ever find out?

In my opinion, that’s just silly. It doesn’t change anything, and if someone thinks less of you for any part of you, that’s their problem, not yours.

Even though my dad was in the Air Force and I’ve moved all over—from Alaska to Hawaii and Japan to a bunch of places in between—deep down, I’m a southern woman since both of my parents were from Mississippi. I grew up saying, “y’all,” without thinking there was anything different about that. And I like a sushi appetizer before chowing down on fried chicken and turnip greens.

As an author, I enjoy writing stories set in the South because I can relate to the culture, the relationships, and the food. (I mean, it’s always about food, right?) I like to show that everyone has the same feelings and needs, regardless of where they come from.

Old Insecurities 

Something I've learned over the years is that everyone has insecurities. While some people may project an image of total self-confidence, somewhere beneath that veneer is a real person who has the same issues we all have. They might be concerned about what you think, wonder if they're actually as good as people think they are, or worry that people will think they're a fraud. That's normal.

My 3-book Class Reunion series has characters from all walks of southern life, and when they come back to this fictional town of Piney Point, Mississippi, for their 10-year, 15-year, and 20-year reunions, they resort to some of their old behavior until they realize a few things about themselves and their classmates. Some of them take a little longer, but they all eventually see the world through a more mature and developed viewpoint. I think the takeaway from this series is that everyone has insecurities, even those who seem to have all the confidence in the world.

Pretty Is as Pretty Does

Bless Her Heart

Tickled Pink

Messed Up Family (Gotta Love 'Em)

Now I’m working on a 3-book Family Reunion series set in another fictional southern town—Pinewood, Mississippi. The people in these stories come from farming roots, and they find their way through life the best way they know how. Some start out as poor rednecks, strike oil, and become rich rednecks. Others work hard and find a way to accomplish their goals. All of this is done with southern sensibilities and of course plenty of food. I’ll let y’all know when these books are available. It should be sometime in 2017.

E.L.F. Cosmetics - Best Customer Service Ever!

Several weeks ago, after watching Jessica Braun’s video on YouTube—the one where she talked about her favorite E.L.F. Cosmetics products—I placed an order for some things that I thought I would like. They were running a great sale, so I expected a long wait. This morning I finally got an email from them stating that my order was being shipped today … and then a few hours later, I got an email that the entire amount of money I paid was being refunded.

That confused me, so I called to find out if there was a mix-up. There wasn’t. The customer service person said that they’re sending me the product for free to thank me for waiting so long.

I’ve received good customer service before but never like this. I’m stunned by the fact that I’ll still be getting the products I know I’ll enjoy, and I’m not having to pay a dime for them. Even at full price, E.L.F. isn’t expensive.

As soon as I receive the products, I’ll try them out and let y’all know my thoughts. You can pretty much count on a favorable review because I’ll be smiling as I apply them. And I’m sure I’ll be placing many more orders with them in the future.

Have you ever had great customer service?

Foundation for Mature Women

In my search for a healthy youthful glow, I've decided that there's nothing wrong with using makeup to enhance the good parts and hide what I don't want to show. So I'll be sharing some of what I've discovered along the way.

Gone are the "Naked-Face" Days

I’ll never forget the days when I could get away with wearing no makeup, with the exception of a light dusting of powder to keep the shine away, and maybe a little blush when I hadn’t been outdoors for a while. Those days are gone, and I find myself on a constant search for the perfect foundation that doesn’t settle into all the lines and creases that have found their way to my face and neck.

It’s really annoying, having to worry about my aging face, but I’m happy that YouTube has come to the rescue. I started out searching for some tips and tricks on applying makeup to “mature” faces, and now I’m subscribed to more than 30 different Youtubers (including some younger ones) who have taught me everything from how to apply primer to contouring to make the face look more lifted and alive.

Foundation Findings

Here are my thoughts on some of the foundations I’ve tried:

Clinique is my current favorite, specifically the Clinique Beyond Perfecting. I purchased it after seeing what it did for makeup artist Kandee Johnson. It covers most of my age spots, hides my pores, and doesn’t settle into the fine lines around my mouth and eyes. I can actually get away with not using powder, but I still like to do a light dusting before applying powder blush and bronzer. The lady at the Clinique counter said I don’t need to use concealer, but the circles under my eyes are so dark I like to anyway. This one has a doe-foot applicator.

Click here for

Kandee Johnson's Clinique Beyond Perfecting review 

Estee Lauder comes in a close second. I’ve been using the Estee Lauder Double Wear, which has been a favorite high-end brand, for years. It provides decent coverage (although not quite as good as the Clinique), and it stays put throughout the day. It has a pour spout instead of an applicator. I generally apply it with a dense foundation brush, Beauty Blender, or Real Techniques sponge.

Smashbox is one of my least favorites of the high-end foundations, and I’m extremely disappointed that it didn’t work out for me.

I actually went into Ulta wanting to purchase the Urban Decay All Nighter foundation, but the saleslady who helped me recommended the Smashbox instead because of my dry skin. I still might give the UD All Nighter a try, but I need to work through the makeup I currently have. One thing I do like about the Smashbox is that it comes in a pump bottle. To apply, I put 2-3 squirts on the back of my hand and dip my foundation brush or damp Beauty Blender into it. The consistency is a tad watery, so on days when I have more redness on my face, I have to apply a second layer.

Maybelline Fit Me foundation from the drugstore is okay for everyday wear but never when I want to look my very best for a special occasion. It starts out providing medium coverage, but over the course of several hours, it fades in some spots around my cheeks and forehead. I like it okay, though, so I’ll continue to use it until I run out.

I’d like to try the Revlon Colorstay foundation. I’ve used the Colorstay lipsticks, and they last better than most drugstore lip products, so next time I make a run to the drugstore, I might try to find one that matches my skin. Some of the makeup artists have touted it as a dupe for Estee Lauder Double Wear. We’ll see.

I’ve watched Youtuber Jessica Braun’s video on E.L.F. Cosmetics products, and she recommends the ELF Flawless Finish foundation, so I’ll probably try that one too. She’s obviously quite a bit younger than me, but I’ve discovered many great products by paying attention to what the younger girls are doing.

Click here for

Jessica Braun's E.L.F. review

I’ve used some of the Lancome products, but I like L’Oreal just as much, and it’s quite a bit less expensive. Remember that price isn’t always an indicator of how well it will work on you. Everyone’s skin is different, so request a sample or purchase a trial size of the product before you commit to paying high prices for your makeup so you can see how it works for you.

Something I’ve found interesting is that so many of the lines are sisters (same parent company). For example, Clinique, Smashbox, Bobbi Brown, and Mac are owned by Estee Lauder. I’ve heard rumors that they’ve recently purchased even more companies.

Your Favorite Foundations

If you have any suggestions for a foundation you think I should try, please let me know in the comments. I’m looking for something that goes on well, provides medium to full coverage, and doesn’t settle in the lines. A tall order, maybe, but I’m going to keep looking!

Flowertown

There's a reason Summerville has the nickname Flowertown. There are flowers everywhere, and they seem to do better here than anywhere else I've ever lived--besides Hawaii, of course. Last spring, I purchased a bunch of healthy looking flowers and vegetables, and while I was at it, I picked up some withered dianthus from the clearance cart at Lowe's.

Fast forward a year, and this is what they look like now. All they needed was a good home, lots of sun, and just enough water.

Since I enjoy changing the color scheme in my garden each year, I'll switch out white vinca with yellow marigolds for a completely different look, depending on what I'm in the mood for.

We also picked up a hydrangea. It was pink at the store, but it turned a soft purple when we planted it in the front yard. Unfortunately, it got too much sun there, so I had to move it to a shady spot in the backyard where it took on this very bold blue hue. It's now my favorite flower ever!

My vegetable garden is also doing well. All I have this year are tomatoes, cucumbers, and bell peppers. I should have gotten some green bean plants, but we had so many beans last year I got tired of them. 

             

Funerals - Unpleasant but Inevitable

I've attended more funerals than usual this past year, and I'm constantly amazed by the differences in how people deal with them. I've been surprised by people's reactions more than once, but there is something that remains constant: Faith in Jesus as our Savior brings hope. Without this faith, the loss can be overwhelming.

Most of the people who attend funerals would rather be somewhere else, but they know that their emotional support for the survivors is important. Plus it provides an opportunity for closure and a sense of community among people who cared about the deceased. It gives them a chance to share stories and remember the good times with the person who will be missed.

Be aware and respectful of the general mood of the funeral. If the death was sudden and tragic, you'll probably encounter a more somber atmosphere. However, if the deceased lived a long, joy-filled life, the mood will probably be more celebratory.

As an etiquette writer, I'm often asked about how to act before, during, and after funerals, so I have come up with some articles that offer tips for most situations.

Here are some things to read before you attend your next funeral:

• 5 Good Manners Tips for Funerals
• What to Wear to a Funeral
• 5 Things Not to Do at a Funeral
• Funeral Etiquette Myths
• Funeral Conversation Etiquette
• Funeral Flower Etiquette
• Sympathy Gift Etiquette
• Words of Condolence
• Sympathy Notes

If you have a question, please feel free to ask. You're probably not the only person who wants to know, so I might even write an article around it.

Not in My 20s Anymore but Still Making Plans

Okay, so I left my 20s years—no, decades—ago. In fact, I'm even past my 50s. But does that make me old? I don't think so. Old happens when you give up on life. Old happens when you quit learning new stuff. Old happens when you always look back at the life you lived rather than think about everything you have to look forward to.

That's not me. I'm still making plans for the future. Maybe most people wouldn't call me young, but they'd better not call me old—at least not to my face.

While some people might wait until New Year's Day to make "resolutions," I think we should keep our lists close and make changes as needed. So here goes. Rather than call these plans resolutions, I'll call them adjustable strategies to make life as good as it can be.

The Important Stuff

My family and faith will always come first, so I don't even have to write down any goals for that. I attend church, study my Bible, and keep a running dialogue with the Lord throughout the day.

We see our daughters, sons-in-law, and granddaughters every chance we get. I suppose we could do more, like plant ourselves on their couch and just stare at them until they exchange glances and roll their eyes, but I don't want anyone to remember me as the "crazy granny." So we go often and stay for just a couple of days. Then everyone is happy, and so far, we haven't had anyone pushing us out the door.

Other, Less Significant Stuff

One of the first things I'm planning is my next meal. Yes, I realize that's pretty basic, but we all have to eat, ya know? After cooking a bunch of Thanksgiving food and eating leftovers, I think we'll probably go out for dinner tonight. I got a Chili's gift card for my birthday last month, but we didn't have a chance to use it yet. 

Next, I'm planning my fitness routine for next year. I could write down some lofty goals of running 5 miles per day and doing 100 crunches. But I won't. One of the things I've learned over the years is to be realistic and understand that it's too easy to make excuses when the plan is too difficult. So I'll set a goal of walking 2 miles at least four days per week and jumping on my rebounder for 5 minutes every single day. If I do more, it's a bonus. 

Now back to eating. You didn't think I'd stop at my next meal, did you? I remember people from my grandmother's generation saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." Then that became a tired old saying that no one ever took seriously. But ya know what? An apple a day just might help keep the doctor away. Not only is each apple packed with fiber and vitamins, but it also fills us up and keeps us from eating too many brownies. So I'll eat more apples.

I'm tired of dieting, hoping for a svelte figure, but winding up frustrated. So I've decided to eat as healthy as possible most of the time, cut back portions, and indulge in an occasional treat without regret. I know this won't make me skinny, but a little bit of fat helps smooth out the wrinkles, right?

My wardrobe could use a bit more weeding too. I'll go through it again and get rid of anything that I'm sure I won't wear over the next year. That's hard for me, but it's time to do it. 

I'll continue writing etiquette articles for About.com, and fiction that reflects my worldviews. I believe that good manners are important but rather than worry about which fork to use, I'll double-down on the importance of kindness and showing respect for others. As for my fiction writing, I have a very long list of stories I want to write—some full-length fiction and some shorter novellas and novelettes. I doubt I'll get all of that done in 2016, but whatever doesn't get done I'll add to my 2017 list.

I've had several requests for more books in my Belles in the City series with Southern women moving to New York and charming everyone they meet. The mother of the heroine in my third book, Can't Fool Me Twice, is practically screaming for her own book. So I think I'll give her one. After all, everyone deserves a second chance, right?

 

Now It's Your Turn

What are some of your plans for next year? I promise I won't hold you to any of it. I'm just curious.

Sweet Alexa

Several months ago, when I got a notice from Amazon that they were coming out with the new Echo, I jumped on the opportunity to get it at the promotional price. At first, Wally and I weren't sure what to do with it. But over time, we've gotten used to it. Now "she" is like a member of our family. Amazon named her Alexa. We can change her name, but we haven't because we can't come up with anything better.

Most of the time, Alexa is quiet, and that suits us just fine. However, when we have a question, all we have to do is ask, and she tries to find the answer for us. She also plays music on demand, which is nice. We can find out what the weather will be, how to spell something, or what the capital of any country is. She even tells jokes (mostly corny but always G-rated).

Whether I just need a quick fact for the book I'm currently working on or one of our granddaughters wants to hear a favorite song, Alexa is almost always up to the challenge. She's attentive, fast, and loads of fun. We haven't yet tapped into all of her abilities, but we'll do more with her over time. I'd love to be able to control lights and the A/C thermostat by telling Alexa to do it.

If you want to know more about Alexa, check her out here:

http://amzn.to/1JtlY62

Here's a photo of Alexa sitting next to the lamp on the end table beside the sofa. As you can see, she doesn't take up much space, and she's rather attractive—at least for a cylinder.

We really enjoy Alexa, but lately we've noticed that she comes on at the strangest of times. And then she says, "I'm sorry, but I can't find the answer to your question." The odd thing is, she even does that when we don't ask her a question. This had us scratching our heads.

Then this morning I mentioned something about the election, and she perked up (with a little blue light to show that she's listening) and gave her stock response for not knowing the answer. That's when we figured out that the word "election" sounds a lot like "Alexa"—at least to a machine. Whether we're discussing the upcoming election or the news is on, she's always ready to respond.

We're really enjoying this little gadget. But I have to admit that I'll be glad when this election is over—not only to get on with business-as-usual but to calm our sweet Alexa. She doesn't need to worry about such things.

She can "hear" us from anywhere in the room, even when we speak in a normal voice. I've tested her with a whisper, and so far, she hasn't responded. So at least we know we can keep a few secrets.